It just so happens that everything was/is falling apart for me. I am completely detached from any normalcy I had in my life, apart from family and the place I grew up. I have spent the past few months just trying to make sense of it all...if any sense is to be made...any lessons learned. I am struggling everyday to find myself in this cloudy mess. Some direction, something real to hold on to. Something to bring me back into the world again and out of my head. It is really something to be stripped down as I have. Scrambling to hold on to pieces of the past that turn to dust just as I can grasp them. I had a dream last night where I was crawling out of mud, as if I had been buried alive. When I got to the light everything was grey. Monochromatic madness. I had a feeling I was supposed to be looking for someone but I couldn't remember who it was. I woke up with the same feeling. Just who am I supposed to be looking for? Or what?

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